Dear Son and/or Daughter, (both would be nice*wink wink*)

If you’re reading this, you just turned 18. Wow, time flies! It seems like yesterday you didn’t even exist and that’s because yesterday you didn’t actually exist. You see, as I write this, your existence is still far off in the hopeful future. And as much as I can’t wait to meet you, I’m okay with both of us taking our time.

I’m not married, I don’t know who your father is and I’m writing you this letter before you were born

Unorthodox? A little. Weird? Maybe. I assure you, people have done this before, so please don’t think your mom is crazy. I want you to know that, even without knowing who your Dad will be, what your name is or whether you’ll even exist in the future, I’m a 100% whole person as I sit here today. I’m not waiting for, nor expecting, you to complete me. I’ve had twenty+ years on this earth comprised of lofty dreams and concrete accomplishments. Missed opportunities and sheer, dumb luck. Friendship and sisterhood. Crippling disappointment and embarrassment so acute I thought I’d never recover. In short, there was a me before you.

Your mom has gotten her share of love letters😎(well…I only got two) with endearingly sappy signatures of a high school boyfriend and a college sweetheart.

Kiddo, I will be different when you come along. The bits that make up my core will be the same, but the second you’re born, I’ll shed my independence like a skin. What’s left will be a raw vulnerability that will simultaneously thrill, terrify and change me. Right now, I cherish my independence. It’s sacred. But I know that someday I’ll be ready to cherish you more.

It may seem odd to write to a son or daughter I don’t yet have, but I know becoming a parent will change me. Like Hannah, I have already given you back to God (1 Samuel 1:9-28). I pray God will take control and mold you into the person He sees fit. Fret not my child because every tear I will cry for you wont be of sorrow or pain, but tears of joy because with you in the perfect will of God, I have nothing to worry about.

This is my version of a love letter. To try to give you a glimpse of me before you in hopes that it strengthens whatever relationship we might have. I’m going to sign and date it, then put it in a sealed envelope with instructions to not open it until your 18th birthday.

Can’t wait to meet you.

Thank you so much for reading. You can find me online on Facebook and Instagram. If you’d like to be alerted whenever I publish a new post subscribe via email.

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